Forum Topic

Civility and respect, please

There are some truly unsavoury and very rude remarks on some posts.We all know we do not agree with some views.  That does not mean opens the doors for rudeness, arrogance and aggression.Civility and respect must be shown by all to all, please.  We would all be much happier.Thank you.

Ivonne Holliday ● 41d29 Comments

Sorry Ivonne - you are right, we should all try better - but it can be difficult.  Good manners learnt in childhood could and should stand us all in good stead throughout life.

Philippa Bond ● 24d

We’re in Lord of the Flies territory.One day the adults will arrive.

Alun Huws ● 26d

Oh this is over the top... I've seen better behaviour from Reddit. GTFU and stop crying like we're some high class debating society, if you don't like what you see, click away from it. Don't make a post complaining about it, because you've don nothing but pat yourself on the back and actually still achieved bugger all. Apologies if I offended anyone by stating the facts.

T Jones ● 26d

Ivonne,  Jonathan. The usual theory is that the algorithms used by Meta, X, TikTok, etc are the reason arguments degenerate into rudeness and, sometimes, spitefulness; however, this forum which has no algorithms, AI assistance or similar seems to show that some humans are perfectly capable of doing that on their own without assistance. A fertile ground for a social psychologist looking for PhD material?

Michael Ixer ● 26d

Thank you Jonathan,I think this saying applies in this instance:"The impossible we do immediately, miracles take a little longer."

Ivonne Holliday ● 26d

Ivonne, some of the contributors to more recent threads have unfortunately not been listening to you. One can but try!

Jonathan Callaway ● 27d

Perhaps not, after reading comments like that.

Richard Carter ● 36d

Civility and respect? I think a request for contributors to improve their grammar might be more useful. (I too will try harder of course!)

Miles Thompson ● 36d

Perhaps Ivonne is not feeling OK??

Ed Robinson ● 36d

“ABOMINABLE, adj. The quality of another's opinions.”  Ambrose Bierce, Devil's Dictionary

Alexander MacLeod ● 36d

.

Barbara Stevens ● 37d

Ivonne, I think if this has just come on that you think you are better than anybody else, you might have Superiority Complex, if this continues it could cause problems in your daily life. I would think carefully the way you speak down to people, as most of us can stick up for ourselves.

Barbara Stevens ● 37d

Gratuitous abuse, devoid of rational argument, is not just unpleasant - it's pointless. The Forum is supposed to be a platform to exchange opinions, not insults.

Steven Rose ● 40d

Ms Holliday'There are some truly unsavoury and very rude remarks on some posts.We all know we do not agree with some views.  That does not mean opens the doors for rudeness, arrogance and aggression'.My view is that unless comments are made which contravene the law of the land, be they racist or show support for Hamas Palestinians for example, or they are obviously libellous towards an individual, then they should stand and the Moderator, whoever he/she is should be kept out of things.Much better people exercise the right to free speech and post their opinions and that the rest of us can then make up our own minds on the quality of the opinion and what they indicate regarding the beliefs and personalities of the poster.

John Hawkes ● 40d

Mr Boyce'I’m guessing, Ivonne, that your polite request for civility amongst posters does not extend to replies to Patrick D.  Barra.Inane, vacuous, guff-slogans like his do not deserve anything more than a crude, vulgar dismissal. If he doesn’t want a verbal boot in the proverbial cojones he can refrain from spouting  his mystic waffle.'You of course prove Ms Holliday's point unequivocally.A harmless comment you take offence to, though God knows why, causes you to respond aggressively.However we all know that 'crude and vulgar' well sums up most of what your seemingly limited intellect is capable of generating as I have pointed out earlier.

John Hawkes ● 40d

As for being civil, I'm to old to be civil we had to be civil as kids. I'm old enough to speak up for myself, as for being the only woman working with 10 men for ten years I really don't think I should watch my tongue.

Barbara Stevens ● 40d

It's not a case of being civil, Jonathan and Richard are friends, the fact that so many are not happy with the high street and it's not sorted is beyond belief. Richard thinks the high street is fantastic for cyclists and pedestrians. What about the cyclists disrespect for pedestrians. There is so much traffic Richard obviously doesn't venture out before 10 am.

Barbara Stevens ● 40d

Exactly, Jonathan.  Thank you.

Ivonne Holliday ● 40d

Ivonne, I agree we should be civil.  I am constantly being put off this forum by some of the contributors and I think it becomes self-defeating if the numbers of those who spend time here diminishes, which it seems to be.Robust argument is not the problem.  Undue belligerence and personal attacks are.

Jonathan Callaway ● 40d

Careful Sue, the moderator might be Ms. Bond.

Barbara Stevens ● 41d

I’m guessing, Ivonne, that your polite request for civility amongst posters does not extend to replies to Patrick D.  Barra. Inane, vacuous, guff-slogans like his do not deserve anything more than a crude, vulgar dismissal. If he doesn’t want a verbal boot in the proverbial cojones he can refrain from spouting  his mystic waffle.

Gerry Boyce ● 41d

Never let the world DULL your spirit- you were born to shine - NOT just what you DO - but who you ARE.

Patrick D Barrs ● 41d

Hello Robert,My post was certainly not over the top. This is an example of disagreement, which is fine.Of course we are old enough and (hopefully) mature enough.  That does not mean that politeness and courtesy - not an old fashioned idea - should be thrown out of the window!  Report it to the moderator?  A good idea.  I doubt much would happen about the report.Sadly, it appears that rudeness is accepted as a norm and shrugged off.  I hope you all enjoy it!

Ivonne Holliday ● 41d

Sue and I have spent years having arguments with other forum members, we are still here. In the past there have been a couple of other really weird young ladies on the site, which did get removed. But seeing as there are hardly any members that contribute on here and are still here arguing or not, I would leave it at that.

Barbara Stevens ● 41d

Sorry Michael it is all perspective.  There are no negative comments only a suggestion that if anyone is offended report the post.  We don’t need a post surely we are all grown up adults.

Robert Wheeler ● 41d

This forum would make an interesting case study. Normally social media algorithms are blamed for inflaming discussions. However, threads on this forum often seem to degenerate without the help of such algorithms.I'm not blaming anyone as sometimes it's easy to fire off a quick unguarded response and it's easy to put something down that's not of the correct tone - sometimes it's best to draft go away and come back and think about it ... or not respond at all! It's interesting how a call for civility can generate negative responses. And, yes, sometimes I do take the p1ss or play devil's advocate, although there are some conspiracy theories - anti tax, climate change denials - I feel an obligation to take seriously. 

Michael Ixer ● 41d

Totally over the top post Ivonne.  As one who has been insulted l am old enough and mature enough to ignore it.  I believe Sue is correct if you feel a post offends you report it to the official moderator or just ignore it.  This forum isn’t compulsory!Some of the comments have made me laugh out loud.  The obvious insults are just childish but what has surprised me is that a lot of the insults come in insidious form from some contributors.

Robert Wheeler ● 41d

Sue,There is nothing wrong with asking for civility and respect.  If you do not agree, that is your prerrogative.

Ivonne Holliday ● 41d

There is one person in particular who is disrespectful and gratuitously rude and if his posts elicit a similar response that is entirely his fault.  Instead of appointing yourself to be a wannabe forum moderator why don’t you report the posts that upset you and ask the Editor to take any necessary action?

Sue Hammond ● 41d