Forum Topic

Ridiculous Job Titles

We bought a book on eBay.  There is a problem with it, so we complained.  The reply has come from the bookseller’s “Customer Support Hero”. As far as we are concerned, heroes are people who risk their lives and not people who reply to emails in bookshops!  Utterly ridiculous job title!

Martine Guy ● 356d17 Comments

C.S. Lewis on "language inflation": “Don’t use words too big for the subject. Don’t say infinitely when you mean very; otherwise, you’ll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite.”

David Ainsworth ● 356d

Digital Prophet have first to spend at least 40 days as a Digital Nomad.Job title inflation is rampant everywhere - if only we can go back to the good old days of the humble toolmaker 😀😀😀

Ed Robinson ● 356d

Michael, I did make up Beverage Alchemist but if you look online you can find examples of real, ridiculous job titles.   As you work in tech, you might like to become a Computer Whisperer and/or Digital Prophet.  I think Happiness Hero is another daft real job title!

Martine Guy ● 356d

Maxine, that’s a good one.  Honestly, the ridiculousness of these job titles.

Martine Guy ● 356d

I still laugh at View Technician for window cleaner.

Maxine Campbell ● 356d

Definitely Beverage Alchemist! 🙂

Michael Ixer ● 356d

Yes that might work, but perhaps Beverage Alchemist might work better as it is a bit more short and snappy conjuring up the image of a magical brew being made a specialist in hot drinks.

Martine Guy ● 356d

Perhaps "Itinerant purveyors of exotic stimulant beverages from distant and mysterious Cathay"? Cheese sandwiches, crisps and gingers also available.

David Ainsworth ● 356d

An informal definition of ninja is a person who excels in a particular skill or activity. I've certainly worked with some PAs and Office Managers who would deserve that title, although one needs to reciprocate that and give them help when they need it! Always keep the PAs on-side: they're the ones who know how the organisation works and where to go to get things done :-)

Michael Ixer ● 356d

I expect they could be called that David, but it’s too sensible and not ridiculous enough. When I first started work, it wasn’t unusual to have a tea lady going round from office to office.  I wonder what they would be called now?

Martine Guy ● 356d

Deviating a bit, as ever, I wonder whether a Parish Secretary could be called a Clerical Clerical Worker?

David Ainsworth ● 356d

If things go badly with the deal, could a “Customer Support Hero” become a “Customer Support Martyr”?

David Ainsworth ● 356d

Michael, P.A. was around when I was a secretary/P.A., but I was always happy to be the office secretary.  I would have loved to have been called the Office Ninja, but doubt I would have been able to say my job title without laughing.  I used to make a lot of tea for my colleagues, so maybe I could have been the Tea Hero.  Really, what a joke it all is!

Martine Guy ● 356d

Martine, the term Secretary seems to have been replaces with the term Personal Assistant these days, which as many managers and directors do a lot of their own typing on word processors and email these days is perhaps more appropriate as the job's emphasis is now more often about organising their manager's day - meetings, travel, etc than typing letters and memos?

Michael Ixer ● 356d

Evidently these overinflated job titles are on the increase.  A couple more laughable job titles I found on the internet are Brand Warrior and Developer Ninja.  How do people give their job titles without laughing?   I wonder what they would call my job title “Secretary” nowadays.

Martine Guy ● 356d

I think this trend comes from the marketing "gurus" in the USA; perhaps so they can consider themselves gurus? I thought the term "Sales Engineer" was stretching a point using the word engineer - don't know what the Germans think of calling someone an engineer who doesn't have an accredited engineering degree in a recognised technical subject! I must admit I do like to use the term "software engineer" … Haven't come across any customer heroes before, although it sounds like working on the front line in supermarkets and battling against organised shoplifters might qualify some for that title?!

Michael Ixer ● 356d

"Utterly ridiculous job title!"Agreed. I'm sure that this sort of linguistic inflation has increased markedly over my lifetime. (I may be exaggerating, of course).

David Ainsworth ● 356d