My thoughts
I have spent two weeks feeling angry about what happened in America. The terrible death of another black man was the final straw in a pressure cooker of lockdown and worry. I am going to post my personal feelings on here for you to understand how I, and many people of colour are feeling right now. I was born here, my husband was born here, both to Jamaican parents who were invited to help build Britain. In spite of the dreadful racism they experienced, they worked hard and built a life for themselves and wanted better for their children. As the first born generation of Black British we experienced much of what our parents did but add into the mix the confusion that we were British born therefore wanted the same rights as whites. This was always the only thing we wanted..to be treated equally. History in British schools has never represented history as a whole, be it black history, history including Britain's involvement in Partition or anything that didn't involve Tudors or Stuarts. We were labelled as people who would never amount to much, my husband’s career advisor being told he wanted to be an architect told him to aim lower and work in a warehouse. I was told to work in the NHS.My whole family have experienced racism in its many guises. My husband is a partner in an architectural firm. Tall, dark, handsome. I can't tell you how many times he has come home angry as yet again a white woman holds her handbag to her breast as he walks past. I know men who deliberately cross the street to make white women feel more comfortable. These deep seated prejudices are a normal occurrence. My husband and I had to give our son "the talk" as a teenage. Do you know what the talk is? it is explicit instructions on what to do and how to act when approached randomly by a police officer....do not stare him down, never run, keep your hands out of your pockets, do not rise to any baiting. My son is a privately education child who received a common entrance academic scholarship at a great school but skin colour is what is seen. I am tired of this. My black colleagues and I for many years have kept under the radar, never wanting to rock the boat or give white colleagues any reason to put a stereotypical label to us if we display any emotion that that may attribute to people of colour. Who, when raising an argument wants "angry black woman" as a label?If you read the book I'm Ok You're Ok you realise that our "recordings" come from our parents and the views from the adults we interacted with hold. As a black mother I want my children to be proud of their Jamaican heritage but appreciate that they are British. Right now I struggle to convince them to be proud. People will show outrage at the damage to statues and I do not condone this but many are frustrated at the damage done again and again and again to black people all over the world. Yes all lives matter, it just needs to be explained that many people never thought black lives mattered at all.
Maxine Campbell ● 2125d27 Comments